There's A War In Me

there is a war in me
that you can't see
and I can't win -
I've been in it for years
it's the root of my fears
and often at night
when I lose the light
I cannot sleep
because there is a war in me.

sometimes it rages
sometimes it flares
and I hear alarms
from underground
there are monsters there
you cannot flee
and I cannot run
from the war in me.

you know there's violence
in the skies, no silence
can conceal the truth
it will all come out
when the demons shout
and a thousand devils flee
from the basement to the roof
where they grin and bare teeth,
'cos there's a war in me.

it's been there forever
an original sin
it comes with life
and ceases never
it thunders and roars
when you're least expecting
the weather to change
you're suddenly outdoors
on the battlefield
with drones all around,
you are just no-one
surrounded by your enemy
and you'll die there alone
'cos there's a war in me.

there is a war in me
and a pain inside
your heart
that you cannot hide
and you cannot win
an original sin
can't be denied
for the war inside 
is raging on.

but not for me -
I refused to fight
I chose the light
and left my position
I'm a pacifist now
and you're my physician,
I healed myself
and left the field
and even though
these wounds are real
I'm not downhearted,
the monster and I
eventually parted.

there's a war in me
though I hear it sometimes
I tell myself
it's all in my mind
and there's nothing but mind
and the war in me.